How to Turn Dating Agony Into Sales Success
At some point in your life, youve had one. Ive had one. Everyones had one.
Im talking, of course, about a really awkward, torturous, embarrassing first date.
You misread a cue and leaned forward for a kiss when your date was just reaching forward to grab their laptop bag.
You find yourself with nothing to say for a full ninety minutes, and sit in agonizing silence as you get increasingly desperate looking for a way out.
The agony of a bad date for most people is matched only by the agony of a really bad sales call. Thankfully, Ive got a few methods that will help you avoid both.
Just like customer relationships, selling and dating have some striking similarities:
- If you really, really need a sale (or a date) the likelihood of you getting some action drops significantly
- If you have the thought I have to make this one work, in the first interaction, you will crash and burn
- Self-confident individuals who enjoy the process have the best outcomes
Early on in my consulting business, I had the good fortune to work with Skip Miller, experienced sales trainer and author of ProActive Selling.
Skip helped me to get over my own fear of selling by teaching me the natural steps in the sales process that totally match the needs of your prospective customer.
Step One: Initiate
This is the very first time that you meet a prospect. It could be an in-person meeting or an online one. Maybe you ran into this person at a networking event, maybe youre looking at their website, but this is the first impression each of you is making on the other. During that time, there is only one important question you need to answer:
Is there a reason to keep talking?!
If you and your prospect have a lot in common or complementary interests and needs, its likely one or both of you is interested in taking things to the next level. Calmly and confidently invite them to meet with you formally kind of like a first date.
In a professional sales situation, this goes something like this:
It was great meeting you, Tom. From what you described about your event, I may have some more ideas for marketing and promotion. Do you want to chat more about it next week? When would be a good time?
Online, you can initiate that same meeting by inviting them to Call me to learn more or Send us an email to set up a free consult.
If theres no chemistry, there is no need to play out an awkward sales version of a dating dance, where you politely agree to first, second and third meetings even when you both know that you dont have much to offer one another. Tell this prospect that you dont think youre a good fit for the project, and wish them luck finding the right person.
And if you happen to know someone who might be a better choice, go ahead and set them up with a simple referral. The project isnt a good fit for me, but my friend Suzanne might be excellent for you would you like her number/website?
In dating and in sales, theres no point in wasting time when you arent right for each other. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea. In fact, the goal of an effective sales process is to get rid of bad fits as quickly as you can, so that you can continue to fill your sales funnel with more qualified prospects.
Step Two: Educate
While youre actually on that first date (a phone meeting, consult over coffee, lengthy email exchange), youre in the Educate stage. This is when youre going to:
- Learn as much as possible about your prospects situation
- Find out if he has the money and time to work with you
- Determine if you could deliver value to him with your solution
While youre finding all of this out, be on the lookout for any information theyre asking for that is above and beyond first date material.
For example, if you were on your first date with a nice person who abruptly asked whether youd like to have kids, that might be a bit of a red flag. After all, you havent even determined yet whether youre enough of a match to consider kids.
Similarly, if someone asks you for a price quote or proposal before youve had the time to get a full background on their situation, it should raise some alarm bells. First you need to learn a little more about one another so you can find out if more serious planning is in the offing. Thats what the Educate stage is for.
Good questions to ask while youre dating a prospect:
And in turn, theyll want to find out from you:
In the online businessworld, youll be communicating this information to each other in all kinds of ways, including:
- A phone call/email
- A detailed intake form on your website where you ask specific questions to potential clients
- Research on websites, Twitter, LinkedIn profiles, and/or Facebook pages to see what they are about and who they connect with (note that this works for both sides)
- Well-organized case studies, samples, or testimonials on your website
- Google searches
- Tal king with your past clients or customers (and remember, for better or worse, Twitter makes it easy to find past clients whove worked with you)
At the end of the Educate stage, you should have a pretty clear idea whether the two of you are a good fit for one another. If you sense they feel the same way, you can confidently invite them to the next step of the sales process, Validate.
Otherwise, you can make the same graceful retreat we talked about in the Initiate section say you dont think youre a good fit, and possibly recommend them to someone who might be a better match.
Step 3: Validate
At this point, the relationship is beginning to take shape. Now its time to make sure youre both on the same page.
Though youve gathered lots of information during the Educate stage, youll to clearly lay out exactly what you expect from the relationship and what theyre expecting from you.
Its time to decide if you can make a commitment. So lay out in an easy-to-understand format like a project proposal:
- The scope of the work
- The specific value and benefit of the work (return on investment, saved time, reduced risk, better brand, etc)
- Roles and responsibilities (what theyll give you, what youll give them)
- A specific time frame for the project
In dating, this step often shows up some holes in the relationship you want to see him twice a week, he wants to see you every day. Arguments ensue.
To avoid arguments in your professional relationships at the Validate stage, put everything in writing and make sure youre clear before moving forward.
If some disagreement comes up during this point in the proceedings, dont make the mistake of compromising too much. If the price is not working for your client but you are not willing to lower it, thats a dealbreaker. Time to nicely end the relationship and point the prospe! ct towar d another potential match who might be willing to meet their terms.
Step 4: Justify
Now that you both know youre serious about this business relationship, its time to make a proposal.
There are a number of ways to ask for the sale, but you need to be the one to ask. If youre waiting around for the prospect to ask you if they can give you money, youll be waiting a long time.
Here are a few ways to ask for that sale:
- Send a formal proposal
- Include a payment link in an email
- Send them to a page on your website where they can purchase what you are offering
- Describe the offer with the full benefits and value proposition in a sales letter
- Direct them to a very clear Purchase button
Step 5: Decide
The purpose of the last step in the sales process is to ask for a decision, Yes or No.
Although it seems like a small detail, it actually causes a lot of stress for people new to sales. (And maybe for you.)
The problem is, if you dont ask for a decision, your prospect floats out to what Skip Miller calls Maybe Land they have your proposal, you think they want to work with you, they know exactly what they need to do to make a purchasing decision but theyre not getting back to you.
In relationships, this is a little bit like someone saying they need space.
You sit and stare at your phone, refresh your email twenty-two times a minute, and slowly go from strong, confident ninja to insecure, miserable failure.
Take control. If you didnt get a firm yes or no, nicely let them know that youll need to move on if they cant make up their mind.
Tom, I sent you a proposal for our project. In order to meet your deadline for April 15, we need to make a decision if this is a go by February 21. If we decide later than that, I am not sure I can fit you into my production schedule.
So what happens if Febr! uary 21 comes and goes and you dont have a decision?
Move on. Consider that this project is in Maybe Land, and it may never get out.
You may want to chill out and wait to see if they get back to you in a day or two. Or you could go back to the Educate stage and make sure that you have clearly communicated the scope and value of your offer.
Whatever you do, do not call or email them every day. You are worth more than that! Get out there and meet someone new someone who can hold up their half of the relationship.
Desperation was never good for dating, and it is worse for selling.
Happy Valentines week!
About the Author: Pamela Slim is the author of Escape from Cubicle Nation: From Corporate Prisoner to Thriving Entrepreneur. She has blogged at Escape From Cubicle Nation for the past six years. You can find more practical sales tidbits in her new program, Ethical Selling that Works.
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