Being Peed on (now and then) is All a Part of Writing

My four-year-old son peed on me. He was half asleep and those things arent all that cooperative early in the morning. Instead of the pee flowing straight into the toilet, it shot at a sharp angle at me. Luckily I wasnt fully dressed. As I wiped it away, his brother and mother laughed at me. Nothing like getting peed on to start your day. Surely not the best of omens.

Sometimes this is what it feels like when you get a less-than-fantastic review for one of your books, as I did when I stumbled upon a review of Tropical Affairs that I overlooked in Cha: An Asian Literary Journal, based in Hong Kong. (I was pushing a deadline.) This is the second time Tropical Affairs has been reviewed outside Malaysia/Singapore in one month! In March it was reviewed in Holland by Expatriate Archive Centre Im flattered that Cha chose to review it, but you cant expect everyone to love what you wrote. That would be nave. Most books and movies get mixed reviewed. Not all good, not all bad. Each individual has to decide for themselves. As I wrote in an earlier blog, The Outsider Within:

I guess you cant really call yourself a writer if someone doesnt find fault with your writing somewhere. When you put your work out there, whether in book form, in literary journals, magazin! es, news papers or blogs, you have to expect some criticism, or comments regarding your competency as a writer.Its all part of the writing game like developing thick skin. Remember, it's only one persons opinion. Think of your favorite singer or band, favorite movie or TV show, favorite and most-loved book of all time, and theres going to be someone out there who absolutely hates it for a perfectly valid reason.

But as a writer, its also important to learn from these reviews (many writers purposely ignore all reviews, good or bad, because they find them so depressing, so judgmental). True the reviewer may be way off base, but often theres some truth there. Many of the articles written for Tropical Affairs were, in fact, my first works to be published over 20 years ago, and I did go overboard on some of them. Others parts did get repeated as snippets in other pieces, often written years later in different publications. Yet when you place them all in one book, it tends to stand out. In hindsight, I wished I had left out several of the pieces, even though they had been previously published (see theres that validation!); others needed to be toned down. Also how to arrange or group your articles is never an easy decisiondo it chronologically, as a memoir, or by subject matter? I will learn from this.

By the way, the more that your work reaches a wider audience outside of your home or residing country, the more open it will be to criticism, and justifiably so, but with all criticism (including off-handed remarks from loved ones, friends, and colleagues), dont let it ruin your day or your writing career (Everyone hates me, Ill never write again!) Also dont read more into it than is actually there. Often its only one or two comments that are less than favorable, not the whole review. Let yourself cool down and re-read it later, as I just did. That wasnt so bad!

And ! do as I did this morning after my son peed on me. After scolding/reminding him to be more careful with his aim and after being laughed at by my wife (I think it made her day and we both had a good laugh over it!), I merely washed it off my leg. Then I showered and began the day properly, as fresh as the day I was born. A little older, a little wiser. Next time, especially early in the morning, Ill let my sons pee first.