Review & Giveaway - Dirty Secret by Jessie Sholl

Dirty Secret
by Jessie Sholl
Publisher: Gallery
Publication Date: December 28, 2010
ISBN: 9781439192528
336 Pages
Nonfiction/Memoir


Publisher's Description:

When her divorced mother was diagnosed with cancer, New York City writer Jessie Sholl returned to her hometown of Minneapolis to help her prepare for her upcoming surgery and get her affairs in order. While a daunting task for any adult dealing with an aging parent, it's compounded for Sholl by one lifelong, complex, and confounding truth: her mother is a compulsive hoarder. Dirty Secret is a daughter's powerful memoir of confronting her mother's disorder, of searching for the normalcy that was never hers as a child, and, finally, cleaning out the clutter of her mother's home in the hopes of salvaging the true heart of their relationshipbefore it's too late.

Growing up, young Jessie knew her mother wasn't like other mothers: chronically disorganized, she might forgo picking Jessie up from kindergarten to spend the afternoon thrift store shopping. Now, tracing the downward spiral in her mother's hoarding behavior to the death of a long-time boyfriend, she bravely wades into a pathological sea of stuff: broken appliances, moldy cowboy boots, twenty identical pairs of graying bargain-bin sneakers, abandoned arts and crafts, newspapers, magazines, a dresser drawer crammed with discarded eyeglasses, shovelfuls of junk mail . . . the things that become a hoarder's "treasures."


My Opinion:

Dirty Secret is Jessie Sholl's memoir about how h! er mothe r's hoarding has affected her life and their relationship. Jessie's story alternates between her memories of shame as a young girl - wanting to keep the other kids at school from finding out where she lived - and her struggles as an adult trying to cope with the ripple-effect of her mom's problems in her own life.

I've often wondered about the causes of hoarding because my late great-aunt was a hoarder whom I met only once in my childhood. Reading Jessie Sholl's account of how her mom mistreated her as a child, and then how unbalanced her mom became as her hoarding intensified, was enlightening in many ways, and gave me an idea of some of the struggles my own relatives must have dealt with when caring for my great-aunt. Even though I know that my great-aunt had some mental health issues, for some reason I had never really thought of hoarding as a mental health disorder.

Jessie explains how the mind of a hoarder works and her explanations helped me to think of hoarders with more compassion. I can't pretend that I wasn't frustrated with her mom as I read about the way that her mom taunted her - reinforcing Jessie's fear of snakes. On the other hand, the more Jessie explained about how the mind of a hoarder works, the easier it was to understand the reasons behind at least some of what her mother did, at least when it came to stockpiling things.

At the beginning of the story Jessie returns to her mother's house because her mom has cancer. Jessie tries to help her mom clean and is faces not only the difficulty of trying to get her mom to allow her to throw things away (with dozens of the same items piled up around her), but also the condemnation of the neighbors who seem to think that it's her fault her mother lives that way.

While cleaning, Jessie acquires an infectious skin condition that won't go away. I have to admit that there were times when I just couldn't put the book down because I had to know if she and her husband (who cau! ght the condition from her) were every going to be able to figure out what it was or find a treatment that would work. Even though I'm sure was an embarrassing and frustrating situation it was fascinating (and sometimes even humorous) to read about.

The best part of the book for me was reading about how Jessie begins to research hoarding and come to a better understanding of exactly what she and her mom are up against. As they say - knowing is half the battle.

I recommend this memoir to anyone who is interested in what it is like to live with a hoarder. I think Jessie's story is valuable in that it allows you to see the hoarder as a real person and not just a stereotype.

Rating: 4/5


About the Author:

JESSIE SHOLL's essays and stories have appeared in national newspapers and journals. She is coeditor of the nonfiction anthology Travelers' Tales Prague and the Czech Republic and a contributor to EverydayHealth.com. She holds an MFA from The New School University, where she currently teaches creative writing. To learn more about Jessie Sholl and her writing, visit her blog.


Giveaway:

The author has provided two signed copies of Dirty Secret for this giveaway. Entries are open to those in the US and Canada.

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The deadline for entry is 11:59 PM (Pacific) on Sunday, February 13th. I will draw the winner using random.org on Monday, February 14th.


I received a free copy of this book for review.

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